like finally. i've been trying to blog the past few days but... well. my computer has been seriously moodswinging. =D anw! hahah today was semi productive. i had chem, emath. then tuition! so it was OKAY. but it still doesnt feel like exams. cos i'm too relaxed. and i watched so much tv today!!! hahaha. my super sweet sixteen was on mtv, so i watched it. the americanos are so... party people. but i want one too. too bad my dad's not rich enough to sponsor me one. boo. and then i watched laguna beach!! i love it. stephen is so cute. =D okay enough grinning. i should be studying!! ahh as if i will. okay tonight is the last play play night. tmr is bio bio bio ss ss ss. =D love yaallll.

i realise i expect too much. out of myself and others. and in the end, it just lands me feeling utterly disappointed. meting out effort to go do something, go somewhere, for someone. and in the end they all forget that i was the one standing there for you to lean on all the time. parents,friends,family. all the same isnt it? but no matter how i tell myself that people dont care and they dont see me standing there in the back, in the corner, i still end up doing it all over again. and it pisses me off cos i expect some sort of gratitude but i get.... none. sometimes i feel like ruth. and to me, the only one who cares about me is my dogs. cos they cant not show gratitude. they respond to me, and they stick with me and wag their tails when they see me and they lick me when i scold them. so yeah. i feel more myself when i'm alone. cos i dont have to pretend to be happy or pretend to be a certain emotion. they dont make me feel useless and worthless and loveless and hopeless. ARGH PMS I HATE YOU. i need ice cream but i finished my potongs already. i'm gonna attack the haagen daaz. farewell thee,

okay as most of you can tell, i've been moody. depressed. pms-ed. SORRY. to those i've snapped at, screamed at (angel) and those i've plain ignored. ITS THE HORMONES. i've been eating chocolate and ice cream for the whole week EVERYDAY. cos i've been so depressed. and only sugar makes me happy. so i'm happiest at home. and all those FRIGGIN tests and homework that i've left behind. it doesnt help. so yeah. PUBLIC APOLOGY. accept, please?

shhh as many of you know i'm not allowed to be on the net but see? hahah TADA here i am. today, my entry shall be full of TADA's cos i'm feeling very TADA-ish. TADA. we somehow managed to live through all the horrible lessons in the morning! and then just before lunch, TADA. i fell down outside the toilet cos my ankle had this TADA-ish bolt of lightning-pain through it and i stumbled and had no one to hold on to and therefore TADA-ed into the sand and mud. TADA there i was this bumbling idiot lying in the sand for all to see TADA how dignified. but heck. its april fool's!! so i got back on my feet, TADA and dusted myself off and hobbled, i kid you not, back to class. i felt like those old people i was talking about in social studies class. TADAA! and then i was whining about my stinging leg. ITS HORRIBLE I'M GONNA BE SCARED. tadaaaa. and then i decided since no one pitied me i might as well pity myself. i seem to be doing lots of things by myself. gawd i'm sucha loser. anw back to topic. then i changed, hobblingly, before settling on my gorgeous skirt and did my hair and stuff. TADAA. when the house were doing their mascots my scarf kept falling off my head!! so me and max rearranged it for only like, ONE HUNDRED TIMES OR SO. tadaaaa. and then we went on stage hahah and started swirling our skirts. TADA we were trying to say. but anwwww. had the long walk and FINALLY finally got back to school. changed realy TADA-ishly quick and then tada bought myself a yummy icy grape ice cream! hahah walked around with my babe,cough cough, chiang. and then bought more ice cream! hahah the concert was...... not very tada worthy. but i still thought that the by night we are sistaaaass. was still funny. though crez awards night was better. TADA. i've managed to be on the computer for hmmmm. 12 minutes without my parents, who are in the same room, from issuing threats of eviction from the computer chair. not baaaddd. TADAA! ahhh anw. enough TADAs. ps, happy 1000th birthday mr leee! =p TADA!